老師問一位學生說： 同學，有句話道：「人生自古誰無死」，你接下一句 可憐這位學生平常不用功，怎麼可能知道 ,卻見他從容不迫的回道： 「人生自古誰無屎，有誰大便不用紙」 下學期後便再沒有這位學生的蹤跡了…… 但是就在隔年，這位學生又跟老師碰面了!! 上課的時候，老師又問到同樣的問題: 同學，有句話道： 「人生自古誰無死」，你接下一句 這回學生學聰明了，他緩緩的說道： 「人生自古誰無屎， 誰能大便不用紙。 若君不用衛生紙， 除非汝是用手指。」 老師聽完之後非常火大，但是又不能表現出來，只有冷冷的叫這名學生罰站。 接著老師看見窗外正在落下的大雪感慨地說： 「上天下雪不下雨， 雪到地上變成雨。 變成雨時多麻煩， 為何當初不下雨。」 老師話還未完，罰站的這位學生又感慨地回覆老師： 「老師食飯不食屎， 飯到肚時變成屎。 變成屎時多麻煩， 為何當初不食屎。」
Monday, May 11, 2009
Funny Joke
Friday, January 9, 2009
Hands-free orgasm!
Dear Dr. Rix,
Last night I was watching porn and trying to get off. I grabbed my dick but I really wanted to rub my abs. I flexed my abs and started rubbing them up & down really fast. That made me cum! It was like jacking off my torso! I was holding my dick still but the action of flexing my abs and rubbing them made me cum. Have you heard of anything like that? It was a really cool orgasm. --
Sensitive Washboard.
Very hot, SW! Yes, the human body can be wired up in many different ways, and just about any part can be sexually stimulated to bring on arousal. Many people have discovered parts of their bodies that have a direct connection to their genitals, like a tug on the nipple or a kiss on the neck. But there seems to be no limit to which body part can do this, depending on the person. Sometimes it not only stimulates arousal, but one rarer occasions, it can bring on orgasm and ejaculation, as well (Although orgasm and ejaculation can be two different things, for the sake of space, I’m going to call it all “cumming”).
There are people who can cum from their pits being licked. Some people cum from just their inner thighs being touched. I know it sounds a little like a Dr. Suess poem — “Some can cum from tickling their feet, some can cum from kissing their cheek” — but our bodies are that diverse. Of course, there are a lot of guys that just being penetrated, with probably a good bump on the prostate, can bring on a strong cum without ever grabbing their rod.
Furthermore, people who have lost sensation from their waist or neck down often have bodies that compensate for the loss. Somehow their bodies shift sensitivity to such a degree that lightly rubbing the back of their arms, for example, can send them into orbit around the planet orgasmia. The human body is that amazing!
I’ll let you in on a little secret, our muscles around the genital area can have a significant influence on our ability to cum. The more in shape they are the stronger the cum, and many feel they have better control over their cumming as well. How do you exercise them? Besides the fun activity of sex, it’s much like Kegel Exercises for women. Three easy steps:
1) squeeze all your genital muscles (including around your anus) like when you have to pee but you have to hold it. 2) relax all your muscles down there (really concentrate at relaxing ALL of the muscles -- it can take a few seconds), and 3) push all of these muscles, like you’re taking a dump (but don’t actually take one).
Do forty of these a day — squeeze, relax, push, relax, and so on — and you’ll have stronger cums. I’ve known guys that get so good at this that just by squeezing and relaxing over and over again, they can cum without ever touching their cocks. I’ll bet your abs trick was some kind of configuration similar to this, SW.
For an even stronger dimension to this exercise, use one of those tiny vibrators that come with a rubbery cockring and strap it around the head of your erect penis. It takes some finessing to get it to stay on, but then use it as a kind of barbell when doing these exercises — while it’s vibrating — and I tell you, you’re gonna see God, and it’s going to feel like someone’s sucking you dry! Enjoy!
Last night I was watching porn and trying to get off. I grabbed my dick but I really wanted to rub my abs. I flexed my abs and started rubbing them up & down really fast. That made me cum! It was like jacking off my torso! I was holding my dick still but the action of flexing my abs and rubbing them made me cum. Have you heard of anything like that? It was a really cool orgasm. --
Sensitive Washboard.
Very hot, SW! Yes, the human body can be wired up in many different ways, and just about any part can be sexually stimulated to bring on arousal. Many people have discovered parts of their bodies that have a direct connection to their genitals, like a tug on the nipple or a kiss on the neck. But there seems to be no limit to which body part can do this, depending on the person. Sometimes it not only stimulates arousal, but one rarer occasions, it can bring on orgasm and ejaculation, as well (Although orgasm and ejaculation can be two different things, for the sake of space, I’m going to call it all “cumming”).
There are people who can cum from their pits being licked. Some people cum from just their inner thighs being touched. I know it sounds a little like a Dr. Suess poem — “Some can cum from tickling their feet, some can cum from kissing their cheek” — but our bodies are that diverse. Of course, there are a lot of guys that just being penetrated, with probably a good bump on the prostate, can bring on a strong cum without ever grabbing their rod.
Furthermore, people who have lost sensation from their waist or neck down often have bodies that compensate for the loss. Somehow their bodies shift sensitivity to such a degree that lightly rubbing the back of their arms, for example, can send them into orbit around the planet orgasmia. The human body is that amazing!
I’ll let you in on a little secret, our muscles around the genital area can have a significant influence on our ability to cum. The more in shape they are the stronger the cum, and many feel they have better control over their cumming as well. How do you exercise them? Besides the fun activity of sex, it’s much like Kegel Exercises for women. Three easy steps:
1) squeeze all your genital muscles (including around your anus) like when you have to pee but you have to hold it. 2) relax all your muscles down there (really concentrate at relaxing ALL of the muscles -- it can take a few seconds), and 3) push all of these muscles, like you’re taking a dump (but don’t actually take one).
Do forty of these a day — squeeze, relax, push, relax, and so on — and you’ll have stronger cums. I’ve known guys that get so good at this that just by squeezing and relaxing over and over again, they can cum without ever touching their cocks. I’ll bet your abs trick was some kind of configuration similar to this, SW.
For an even stronger dimension to this exercise, use one of those tiny vibrators that come with a rubbery cockring and strap it around the head of your erect penis. It takes some finessing to get it to stay on, but then use it as a kind of barbell when doing these exercises — while it’s vibrating — and I tell you, you’re gonna see God, and it’s going to feel like someone’s sucking you dry! Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
5 Best Heart Foods
5 foods that can help rein in out-of-control cholesterol
1. Almonds
These nuts provide a rich source of cholesterol-lowering sterols, but Christopher Gardner, Ph.D., a cholesterol researcher at Stanford University, credits monounsaturated fat with most of the benefit. Unlike saturated fat, the mono kind doesn't block the removal of LDL cholesterol from the bloodstream.
2. Apples
Earlier this year, Cornell University researchers found that eating one Red Delicious apple a day can block LDL oxidation, resulting in an 8 percent drop in levels. Bonus: Apples (and their skins) contain soluble fiber, the kind that scrubs artery walls clean. Cut one up and mix it into your oatmeal, another top source.
3. Beans
Much has been made of soybeans' ability to overcome everything from cholesterol to cancer. Gardner isn't convinced: "I'm not sure how much of the health benefit is soy versus what soy displaces." When it comes to controlling cholesterol, he says, that means substituting a vegetable patty for a fatty beef burger and topping your salad with edamame or kidney beans instead of chicken tenders a couple of times a week.
4. Blueberries
Similar to the resveratrol in grapes, pterostilbene, an antioxidant found in blueberries, can stimulate liver cells to better break down fat and cholesterol, according to USDA scientists.
5. Fish
Two weekly servings of fatty fish, like salmon, can lower LDL by 20 percent. Tufts University scientists found that, in high enough quantities, the omega-3 fatty acids from fish chewed through cholesterol molecules in the bloodstream and shrank the size of remaining LDL particles by 12 percent.
By: Phillip Rhodes, Illustrations by: Eboy
1. Almonds
These nuts provide a rich source of cholesterol-lowering sterols, but Christopher Gardner, Ph.D., a cholesterol researcher at Stanford University, credits monounsaturated fat with most of the benefit. Unlike saturated fat, the mono kind doesn't block the removal of LDL cholesterol from the bloodstream.
2. Apples
Earlier this year, Cornell University researchers found that eating one Red Delicious apple a day can block LDL oxidation, resulting in an 8 percent drop in levels. Bonus: Apples (and their skins) contain soluble fiber, the kind that scrubs artery walls clean. Cut one up and mix it into your oatmeal, another top source.
3. Beans
Much has been made of soybeans' ability to overcome everything from cholesterol to cancer. Gardner isn't convinced: "I'm not sure how much of the health benefit is soy versus what soy displaces." When it comes to controlling cholesterol, he says, that means substituting a vegetable patty for a fatty beef burger and topping your salad with edamame or kidney beans instead of chicken tenders a couple of times a week.
4. Blueberries
Similar to the resveratrol in grapes, pterostilbene, an antioxidant found in blueberries, can stimulate liver cells to better break down fat and cholesterol, according to USDA scientists.
5. Fish
Two weekly servings of fatty fish, like salmon, can lower LDL by 20 percent. Tufts University scientists found that, in high enough quantities, the omega-3 fatty acids from fish chewed through cholesterol molecules in the bloodstream and shrank the size of remaining LDL particles by 12 percent.
By: Phillip Rhodes, Illustrations by: Eboy
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Your Guide to Starting Over
OK, I’m ready to get back out there. That last relationship is in the past, and even though I have some mixed feelings, I’m actually excited about dating again. What’s my next step?
If you’re ready to begin looking for “the one” again, here’s your Guide to Starting Over.
Step 1: Prepare yourself Socially
You have plenty of reason for excitement. This is your chance to completely reinvent yourself and the way you interact with people on a social level. So spend some time thinking about how you’ve always gone about looking for potential partners. Do you want to re-think your old hang-outs? If the places you’ve looked before haven’t yielded such great dating results, then brainstorm some spots you’re more likely to find someone more compatible with you.
Also, be willing to reconsider the actual people you might choose to date. Are there people already in your life, people you already trust, who might be potential romantic partners? Maybe there’s someone you haven’t considered before who could become more than a friend in your life?
Regardless of your past social persona, you can now choose who you want to be in social situations. Decide where you want to go, and who you want to be with, and you can make changes that will allow you to create a dating life that’s fun, exciting, and even adventurous.
Step 2: Prepare yourself Externally
In addition to thinking about your social environment, spend some time considering who you are on the outside, and how you come across to other people. For example, what about your clothes, and your overall look? The 90s may have been a great decade, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep living there when it comes to your fashion and hairstyle.
Spend a little bit of money to update your overall look. Go shopping with a friend who does a good job of keeping up with the latest trends and fashions. Update your classics with trendier items that flatter your figure. Then, if you think you need it, go to a salon and let a professional you trust give you advice about how to wear your hair.
But more than that, this is about how you feel about yourself as you dive into the dating waters again. If you go back out there feeling good about how you look and about how you’ll be perceived, you’ll present yourself with more confidence and self-assurance. Then you can be more fully yourself, meaning that people will get to see the real you, as you want to be seen. Which connects to the final step…
Step 3: Prepare yourself Internally
More important than anything else as you begin dating again, is what kind of attention you pay to your internal self. Are there old wounds and baggage you need to release? If so, let them go. Few things will make a worse impression on a first date than a person who is bitter and resentful about a past relationship. So if you need to spend some time working through old feelings and even find some forgiveness for someone who hurt you, doing so will be well worth your time and effort.
Now is also a good time to let go of old dating patterns. Take a long, hard look at yourself, and think about what kinds of mistakes you seem to repeatedly make. If you consistently end up with a person who hurts you, who is emotionally unavailable, or who fails to show you respect, then that’s an issue you want to explore. Or if you keep choosing someone who’s needy and lacks a sense of self, then that’s one of your patterns you want to spend some time thinking about.
Set standards for who you want to be, and for the kinds of people you want to be with. Spend time thinking about what you want, and who you are. The more intentional you can be about what kind of dating life you want to pursue, the greater chance you’ll have of actually creating it.
We know it can be scary as you take the first steps towards rejoining the dating world. But don’t focus on that fear. Instead, think about the opportunity before you. This is your chance to get out there and be the person you’ve always wanted to be. And who knows? Maybe there’s someone else out there who’s also preparing him or herself and will be just the right person for you.
If you’re ready to begin looking for “the one” again, here’s your Guide to Starting Over.
Step 1: Prepare yourself Socially
You have plenty of reason for excitement. This is your chance to completely reinvent yourself and the way you interact with people on a social level. So spend some time thinking about how you’ve always gone about looking for potential partners. Do you want to re-think your old hang-outs? If the places you’ve looked before haven’t yielded such great dating results, then brainstorm some spots you’re more likely to find someone more compatible with you.
Also, be willing to reconsider the actual people you might choose to date. Are there people already in your life, people you already trust, who might be potential romantic partners? Maybe there’s someone you haven’t considered before who could become more than a friend in your life?
Regardless of your past social persona, you can now choose who you want to be in social situations. Decide where you want to go, and who you want to be with, and you can make changes that will allow you to create a dating life that’s fun, exciting, and even adventurous.
Step 2: Prepare yourself Externally
In addition to thinking about your social environment, spend some time considering who you are on the outside, and how you come across to other people. For example, what about your clothes, and your overall look? The 90s may have been a great decade, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep living there when it comes to your fashion and hairstyle.
Spend a little bit of money to update your overall look. Go shopping with a friend who does a good job of keeping up with the latest trends and fashions. Update your classics with trendier items that flatter your figure. Then, if you think you need it, go to a salon and let a professional you trust give you advice about how to wear your hair.
But more than that, this is about how you feel about yourself as you dive into the dating waters again. If you go back out there feeling good about how you look and about how you’ll be perceived, you’ll present yourself with more confidence and self-assurance. Then you can be more fully yourself, meaning that people will get to see the real you, as you want to be seen. Which connects to the final step…
Step 3: Prepare yourself Internally
More important than anything else as you begin dating again, is what kind of attention you pay to your internal self. Are there old wounds and baggage you need to release? If so, let them go. Few things will make a worse impression on a first date than a person who is bitter and resentful about a past relationship. So if you need to spend some time working through old feelings and even find some forgiveness for someone who hurt you, doing so will be well worth your time and effort.
Now is also a good time to let go of old dating patterns. Take a long, hard look at yourself, and think about what kinds of mistakes you seem to repeatedly make. If you consistently end up with a person who hurts you, who is emotionally unavailable, or who fails to show you respect, then that’s an issue you want to explore. Or if you keep choosing someone who’s needy and lacks a sense of self, then that’s one of your patterns you want to spend some time thinking about.
Set standards for who you want to be, and for the kinds of people you want to be with. Spend time thinking about what you want, and who you are. The more intentional you can be about what kind of dating life you want to pursue, the greater chance you’ll have of actually creating it.
We know it can be scary as you take the first steps towards rejoining the dating world. But don’t focus on that fear. Instead, think about the opportunity before you. This is your chance to get out there and be the person you’ve always wanted to be. And who knows? Maybe there’s someone else out there who’s also preparing him or herself and will be just the right person for you.
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